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StaciaLynn
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Name: Stacia
Country: United States
State: Iowa
Metro: Des Moines
Birthday: 7/15/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: My favorite thing to do is to be outside - which is difficult to do in Iowa at times - especially when it's colder than a pengins arse. i love to be around horses - though I find people a little more sociable. I'm fantastically social - sometimes to a fault.
I like to describe myself as an introverted extrovert. I love spending time laughing about ridiculous things - and having deep discussions...but I also need and value my time alone. Journal, writing the occasional poem, and playing the guitar are especially important to me.
Over the last few years I have been learning a lot more about football - even Iowa State's ridiculously terrible team. I love going to the games - and a few tailgates before the game.
Expertise: Got nothing.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  StarBrite1632
Member Since:
5/17/2005
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| Finals week is complete. It was definitely the easiest so far - biochemistry and physics were my only exams.
Over the past couple days, I've had time to catch up with friends that I haven't seen since the beginning of the semester. And I realized that this semester has been the best and the worst of my college career. Walking away from CRU was difficult - I had invested so much time and energy into that organization - and I lost so many friends because I left. The bitterness that dwelled within me at first, drove me to do some really stupid things. I'm not proud of those actions, but I don't regret them - because in making mistakes I discovered my own boundaries. Not restrictions based on legalism and rigidity - but based on wisdom and truth. The friendships that remain have deepened greatly - and I am so grateful for those true friends. I feel more authentic now than ever before in my life - and feel that I finally may be able to open myself up and love. One of my best friends is now my sister - and I never saw that coming. I don't think she did either! And Brooke - that girl has changed so much! Her mom thinks I'm corrupting her by taking her to the bars with me, but I think she is finally realizing the beautiful person she is, and gaining confidence. Probably helps that I'm such a goofball - anyone would feel good about themselves!
Even though there are still months before I leave the country - I am already cherishing the friends I know will withstand the time and distance. Leaving college is a major change in the social scene - its always going to be harder when your friends aren't right down the hall. Leaving the country - who knows?
I'm excited to be heading home on Sunday - at least for a couple weeks before I begin my last semester here! I've never liked Christmas very much - but this year I feel all warm and fuzzy.
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| I realized today that I'm a big nerd. I am sitting here studying biochem - and I might as well be studying another language. How about this? Phosphoenolpyruvate carboxylase - yep. Just one of many enzymes in metabolic pathways that I have the privelege of memorizing. And for what??? Who knows.
I sincerely hope that I am not one of those socially incapable nerds - who thinks that I'm enormously social, but inevitably makes every situation awkward. Let me know if that is the case...
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| So. Honestly I had pretty much given up on Xanga and the whole web-blog thing. Until I found out my plans for next year...if all goes well...I will be heading to Africa in June to teach high school chemistry and physics. Yay Peace Corps!
I want to keep everyone updated somehow - and email can be such a hassle...so why not a blog? Sounds fabulous - then whoever, whenever, can check into my life and see what random adventures I have got into. I'll probably post a few things before I leave - just to keep track of my thoughts.
I picked up a book today written by a girl who served in Cameroon teaching English. We seem similar - and I'm already halfway through the book...though I should have been studying for biochemistry. Boo. The only thing that scares me so far is that it won't happen. I'm afraid to get my heart set on it - and then be disappointed - and I have absolutely no idea what I would do if I don't go.
It just seems to fit. When I first heard about it - I was intrigued. And when I went to the website and read more about it - I immediately knew that it was for me. The only other time that happened was when I went to Confrontation Point. The summer I spent at CP was one of the most influential times of my life - and I wouldn't give it up for anything. I feel the same kind of anticipation for the Peace Corps - I know it is going to be tough - I'm going to learn more than I can fathom - but I am beyond excitement for the experience.
The people I will meet. The things I will learn. Probably more than I will teach. I get to learn a new language - gain a new perspective - and hopefully be a positive influence somewhere along the line. The only tragedy is that I will miss so much while I am gone. I have finally gotten so close with my family - and I will miss them. Really miss them. Especially Sierra - she's grown up so much - and she's heading for college. Sabrina will graduate while I am gone. Opa probably won't last another two years. There will be weddings. New babies. Funerals. But I know what I miss will be nothing compared to what I will gain.
And who knows where I'll end up. But I don't want to fall out of touch!!! I really hope that this will help me to stay connected to those I love.
Enough of this planning ahead. I'm still in this country for another 6 months.
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| Is obligation the same as obedience? Because I'm tired of obligation.
And there are times when I don't even desire to be obedient. But I was so refreshed today by the time I spent in the Word. And challenged.
I obey your statutes for I love them greatly. Psalm 119:167
I don't love God's law all the time. I don't always desire to be holy. But it is because I don't believe the promises that the Lord has. That his law is love. It is protecting me from what I cannot see.
I love Him because of that. And so much more. Another parable that really stood out to me about obedience was Matthew 21:28-32. I highly recommend that you pick up your bible and read it.
It's all about action. In the Screwtape Letters Satan instructs "Let him do anything but act. No amount of piety in his imagination and afflictions will harm us if we can keep it out of his will." And that is so true. I think so much of my Christian life remains in my imagination. I tell myself I love Jesus. And that I should tell other people. But it so rarely happens.
And it is so refreshing when it does. Odd how that happens. I was able to tell a dear friend this weekend about my Savior because of an accident that opened my eyes to how fragile life is. I will have to tell that story later. It's been dynamic in my life.
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| Long time...no update.
Currently I'm feeling exhausted...but in a good way. Tuesdays are always long. I'm tired of being tired. I feel like I'm 80.
I thought this week was going to be nice and easy. I was wrong. I have a paper due on Thursday. It is worth 20% of my grade in the class. That's crazy. I'm starting it tonight.
I am sick of religion. I am not doing it anymore. I mean it. I run around like a crazy woman...sometimes...and I don't take time to enjoy Jesus. I cried last night. It was good.
I wrote a poem today too. It's called Fragile Steel.
Now I'm going to go and take a nap.
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